20/20 Update June 27, 2007 at 2:18 pm

It is getting close to 11 months from my start of the 20/20 Lifestyles program.  I have been reflecting back on how I feel and the stress that I have been going through in my life lately.  I can honestly say that without the knowledge I have gained from the program I would have easily regained 30-50 pounds by now.  The last few months have been a constant struggle to avoid binge eating.  I am well aware of the stressor that is likely the progenitor of the behavior and I have been working towards correcting the issue.  Without the framework in place I would be out buying much larger clothes again. 

As it is, right now I am pretty much stalled at around 210 +/- 4.  I have seen 206 and came very close to breaking that barrier again last week, before my latest episode.  Without the exercise, much better diet, and considerably better binging intake I would have failed to maintain any of the loss.  I don’t have ice-cream, cookies, or other candy around the house.  I have to watch out for Cliff Bars and the like because they tend to set me off.  Comfort in food.  That is probably the hardest conditioning for me to over come.  Even friends un-intentionally can help to undermine my determination.  Once in a while is OK and I know it is going to happen.   I just need to remain vigilant and not let it become a continuous theme in my life again.    

It is frustrating, but also very encouraging to me as well.  When I can take in an extra 1000-1500 calories in a day and not see a massive impact, because after a slip I am much more focused on eating better, it is only frustrating and not depressing! 

I also know that part of the reason I have more or less stopped dropping pounds is that I have been building muscle mass.  It isn’t obvious to me, but others notice it quite a bit.  My leg strength was always good, but now it is considerably stronger.  Bicycling has really made a huge impact in that regard. 

I am pretty much down to just a belly now with the tiniest bit of "love handle."  On the days that I get below 210 I actually am starting to feel skinny.  When I am over 210 I am noticing the extra poundage and I feel more bloated and large.  I look at this as a good sign.  I am beginning to relearn my body image and I am more in tune with how I feel physically. 

The predominant contributor to the stall is well known to me, but I suspect a little of the cause is my feeling of getting smaller.   Most days it is a good feeling, but every now and again I just don’t believe it to be real.  Go figure.  I never thought the hardest part of the program would be the psychological barriers! 

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