Image Changing May 9, 2007 at 12:04 pm

About 9 months ago, I started the 20/20 Lifestyles Program offered by the Pro Sports Club in Bellevue, WA. At that time, I weighed in at a hefty 328 pounds. In July, I was at 338 and earlier last year even heavier. I am not 100% certain of my maximum fatness because most scales stop around the 330 range. I do know that I was off the scale at my doctor in May. That scale stopped at 340 and the estimate was 350.

I was large. When I visited my brother in Jan of 2006 I wasn’t able to put the tray down on the plane and the seat belt barely fit. As large as I was, I still didn’t completely have an internal body image that said I was a fatty.

Today I weighed in at 208 this morning. From my highest recorded weight that is 130 pounds gone. It still hasn’t completely sunk in. I’ve lived the large life for such a long time my body image still thinks of me as fat. I feel the fat on my body and when I sit, it still shows around my belly. I understand that I have lost quite a bit, but because it was such a gradual change for me, I don’t recognize the differences unless I step back and think about it.

It is a really weird feeling. I am more or less still the same person mentally, but the impact of my weight delta is mostly lost on me on a day to day basis. Don’t get me wrong, when I shop for clothes it is quite obvious that I don’t need the XXXL sizes anymore and it is actually annoying that I am in-between sizes for pants again. I do recognize these things, yet my body image is still of me as a rather large person. I wonder when or if I will ever make the mental switch. (Or even if I should make the mental switch!)

In just over three months, I will mark the 1-year anniversary of the start of the program and I still feel fat at times. Weird!

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